To Be Forgiven
by Ayyara
Summary: He's doesn't remember anything he's done except for what plagues him in his dreams. It took her seven years to become herself again after the android attack. Despite their past, can they help each other heal? 17OC R&R Please!


Ok, so, this is my first Dragonball Z fanfic…might or might not be my last…who knows.  Anyway, I know that some people might not like a character from the series and an original character paired up, but I just thought it would be cute, so I went with it.  This takes place in Mirai Trunks timeline (you know where the androids destroyed pretty much everything) and news had gotten around that Trunks had destroyed the androids.  So the people of (a.k.a Earth) began to pick up with their lives again and move on, and that brings us here…to the story.  Anyway! Nuff said! On with the story!! Please R&R if you don't mind and tell me what you think…I'll see if I'll want to continue with it after I get a few opinions or what not.  Thank you!!!

*****

**_To Be Forgiven_**

_Chapter One:  Understanding_

            She sat up suddenly, a frightened scream dying on her lips as beads of perspiration ran down her forehead.  The moon's pale light shined in through the slit betwixt her curtains, falling across her lap and over her right shoulder.  She trembled, just slightly, each shiver vibrating into the stillness of her bedroom.  Small whimpers of discomfort tumbled from her lips and her jade green eyes darted warily about the room.  The illustrious sounds of the night floated to her small ears, seeming to calm her nerves, and her tense body relaxed after a moment.

            It was the nightmare again; the same nightmare that plagued her dreams for seven years.  She was 23 now, and should be over it; but alas, it would not leave her, for it was a part of her for the rest of her life.  Placing a trembling hand over her eyes, a sharp sob escaped her and tears began to fall freely from her covered eyes…She would never be the same.

~*~       ~*~       ~*~

            Morning came, the same as any other in the small quaint village of Willow Leaf, and Kaneli was at peace once more.  She managed to fall back asleep during the night, and awoke rested enough to fix breakfast for herself and her father.  She still lived with her father, having never married, but he was content with that and was glad to have his daughter there with him.  He was never comfortable with his prodigy being away from him, especially after what happened to her seven years ago.

            She was such a happy girl before it happened, always so full of life and vigor that lit up the lives of the rest of the villagers.  They loved the sixteen-year-old girl unconditionally, and they cried that night when their village was attacked by those infamous demons known as the jinzounegen, and the dark-haired one abducted his little girl.  For three days she was missing, and for three days Zed grew ill, waiting for her return.  Kaneli returned on the third night, bruised and bloodied, her clothes in tatters and her face wet with tears.  She collapsed in her father's arms from exhaustion and slept for two days straight.  When she awoke, she recounted the horrible tale to her father of her abduction and her escape; and after another bout with tears, his little Kaneli became depressed, losing the light that the rest of the villagers cherished.

            She started to become something like herself on the eve of her 19th year, once again talking easily to the young men in the village that caught her fancy; but it never went past friendly conversation.  She was afraid of men now, her small frame trembling when things were starting to become too intimate; her tan skin paling to an ashen variation of its former color.  Then she would shut herself in her room and refuse to come out for nearly a week.  She was a broken woman.

            Zed ate his breakfast quickly, seeming to down it in a few gulps before leaving their cozy cottage to help the other men work in the fields and ship the crops to the city and other towns to be sold.  In sweet solitude, Kaneli sat on her step, admiring the charming scenery that preceded the front porch of her abode.  The wind blew by gently, but with enough force to pick up her silky black hair and blow it about her head and face in a thick ebony curtain, a slender tan toned hand reaching up to push it back behind her ears.  Her eyelids slid close over her emerald orbs, a look of pure serenity gracing her young face as the sun kissed it with the warmth that belonged to a lover's touch; a contrast to the chill air, which bit her skin and turned her tan cheeks a reddish color.

            Youthful laughter floated to her ears, accompanied with a child's thrilled scream.  Murmurs of the village elders drifted past her, the gentle tremor in each voice sounding like the hum of the bees in the sunflower garden by her house.  With these beautiful sounds in the air, one never would have guessed that the sky over this happy village was once red…blood red.  Screams echoed off the brick and stones of the collapsed and burning homes in a horrid song, mourning cries providing the melody.  Sobs of loss and shrieks of pain haunted the streets long into the night and reverberated into the graying dawn…a gut-wrenching sound.  The loudest cry belonged to man whose only child was snatched from his grasp and whisked away into the night, not to be seen for three days.  Such tragedy seven years ago…such pain…such agony…

            "Kaneli!" A young voice called her out of her stupor.

            Opening her eyes, the young woman noticed the child, just reaching adolescence, running toward her.  His close-cropped brown hair flew back from his darkening face, as he ran, his cheeks ruddy from the exertion of his energy.  He was barefoot, the roughened skin of the bottom of his feet pounding the cold dirt road as he scurried to her porch.  He stopped in front of her and leaned forward with his hands on his knees to catch his breath, Kaneli waiting patiently as he struggled to regain his poise.

            "Your papa—" He stopped to gulp in more air, then started again: "Your papa sent me to tell you it'll be cold when he gets home from the field tonight. He wants you to gather some firewood and have the house warm for when he gets back."

            "Oh, thank you Kalikow. Tell my papa I'll get right on it." Kaneli replied, smiling at him. "And you need to put on some shoes. It's too cold to be running about like that."

            The boy nodded once sharply and flashed her a charming smile that made him seem older than his pre-adolescent age.  He turned on his bare heel and ran back the way he came to deliver her message to her father.  Sighing, Kaneli stood from her porch and dusted off her bottom before climbing the steps to re-enter the house.  She emerged moments later with a small ax and a pair of heavy boots adorning her feet.  Drawing her thick fur coat about her small frame, Kaneli swung the ax up onto her shoulder and stepped off the porch, turning left, away from the town, to the surrounding forest.

~*~       ~*~       ~*~

            He sat there for the past five hours, his long legs drawn to his chest with his arms wrapped around them, staring at the leaf-covered ground.  He can only remember sitting there for five hours, nothing before that…as if he had woken up from a dream.  He was lost, not understanding where he was and how he got there; and he didn't even know who _he_ was.  He let go of his up drawn knees and held his hands out in front of him, turning them over and over again as if they could tell him who he is.  They were covered in smeared dirt, but through it, it could be seen that the skin was pale and young.  His nails, though extremely short, had clots of dirt underneath them, as if he had been digging in the earth…perhaps to figure out who he is?  He was clad in, now dirty, light blue denim jeans, a black t-shirt with a white long sleeved shirt underneath, and a tattered bandana tied loosely about his neck.  Reaching up tentively, he pressed slender, cold fingers against his face, tracing contours that he couldn't see, and barely feel.  There was a mild sensation on his fingertips of what might be his skin, but he didn't know for sure…if only he could see himself, maybe, just maybe he could figure out who he is.

            Ceasing his self-inspection, his eyes wandered upward to the looming vegetation above.  The branches, leaves and needles of the trees were in such thick abundance; the sky was barely visible between the treetops and only slivers of sunlight pended through.  Birds fluttered between branches and small woodland rodents darted about, gathering the fallen nuts and acorns that the trees produced, dashing back to their burrows and nests to deposit their spoils in their tiny homes.  He watched them with innocent, bewildered eyes, marveling at their movements and quiet clicking and chatter.  It was a whole new world to him, one that he could never recall seeing before, not before those five hours that he awoke.

            A sound caught his attention; a quiet rushing babble that was like a person murmuring, but he could scarcely remember what that sounded like.  Intrigued, he stood from the leaf-covered ground and moved toward the sound, his head cocked to the side in curiosity and wonder.  Timid steps at first, unsure if he even knew how to walk, then more confidant and strong strides took over, carrying him to the sound of his inquisitiveness.  The sight that greeted him made him pause, his eyes widening with awe.  It was a crystal clear stream, a good size across, and extended between the dense columns of trees.  He stood there and stared at the stream, entranced as the visible currents and small bubbles flowed in a never-ceasing rhythm down its path through the forest.  It gave him a feeling he couldn't describe for it was something he never knew was there before…he didn't even know what it was.

            He stepped cautiously towards the murmuring waters, afraid that the beautiful epitome would vanish before his eyes.  He moved like a frightened child ever so slowly towards the stream, until he stood right on its bank.  Staring up at him was a wavering reflection of someone in the water.  Curious, he knelt down on the shifting, muddy stream bank and peered into the clear, flowing waters.  He blinked, and the stream person blinked.  He turned his head to the left, the stream person turned his the left.  He reached up to touch his face, and the stream person mimicked him.  He reached a hand out slowly toward the shining surface of the water, the stream person doing the same, and touched it; the image of the stream person wavered and rippled, becoming distorted.

            "It…it is me…" He whispered, startling himself.

            After the ripples settled, a pale face watched him, black hair surrounding it.  Sharp features made up the visage, with thin lips and thin eyebrows hovering over narrow, piercing, pale blue eyes.  Golden rings hung from small earlobes on each side of his head, glinting in the sparse light that filtered in through the trees.  It was an interesting creature to him, unbelievable in its flawlessness, the exception being the smudged dirt upon the high cheekbones.  He withdrew his hand from the stream, disturbing is waters once again.  A silver fish darted by and caught his eyes, and he crept along the bank, silently following it.  It would pause every now and then, and then continue its sporadic, jerky pattern through the flowing waters.  He reached slowly back into the water of the stream and gently touched the fish, noticing the smoothness of it before it darted away from his slender fingertips.  He brought his hand to his face again and ran a wet finger down his cheek, noticing it too was smooth, but not in the same way as the silver fish.  He sat there a moment, blinking in confusion before backing away from the stream bank and into the rough trunk of a large, coniferous tree.  He huddled there, in the comfort of the large roots, and dropped his head heavily upon his upraised knees.  This was too much to understand.  Not remembering anything before he opened his eyes was taking its toll on him.  He felt drained and insignificant; a child lost in a world he feels he never knew.

~*~       ~*~       ~*~

            Kaneli hummed to herself the lullaby her mother used to sing to her before she went to sleep.  It was a lovely song about a far away land with princesses and princes who become great kings and queens.  It's been thirteen years now; her mother is dead and buried in the village cemetery.  They lost her and Kaneli's baby brother, Malachi, during childbirth.  The young woman sighed and stopped by a tree near Crystal Stream.  She stared at it a moment before climbing up the sturdy trunk to reach a thick, healthy branch.  She was just about to swing her ax to cut the branch, when a soft sound reached her ears.  It sounded like a sob, but it was so faint, barely louder than the gentle murmur of the stream.  Curious, Kaneli slid down the trunk of the tree and put her ax back on her shoulder to investigate the sound.  And she wandered quite a ways down the banks of the stream, the sound just barely increasing at all for her to follow it.  She came upon a small clearing, the sobbing seeming loudest here, and stepped into its middle, looking around slowly to find whatever was out of place.

            "That's odd…it sounds like there is someone crying, yet I see no one." Kaneli murmured, placing her free hand upon her hip.

            Everything seemed normal.  Nothing disturbed the peaceful stillness of the forest…with exception of the gentle sobbing.  But from where is the sound coming?  And what or who is it?  She closed her eyes and focused a moment, blocking out the normal sounds of the forest to hear the whimpers.  Kaneli turned, ever so slowly, until she believed she felt the sorrow of whatever poor creature was crying.  Opening her eyes, she was staring at the rough trunk of a large pine tree, but the sounds had stopped.  Kaneli moved towards the tree still, taking careful and quiet steps. 

            She peered over the bulge of the unearthed root and saw the crown of a dark head.  Leaning forward more, Kaneli made out the huddled form of a person; but their identity was hidden from her.  She wasn't even sure if they were conscious until the person's shoulders trembled just slightly.  Biting her lip, she moved around the root towards the miserable being who didn't even notice her presence as she knelt by them.  It wasn't until her tan hand touched the trembling shoulder did they notice her.  The shoulders stopped trembling and were still, but tense; Kaneli did not remove her hand.  She noticed the poor soul was clothed only in a t-shirt with a long sleeved one underneath and jeans, but the material was thin and worn and even ripped in some places.  Through the material of the clothes, Kaneli could feel their skin was as cold as ice, as if they were dead!

            "Are you all right?" She asked softly.

Silence answered her at first, then a small voice answered her, soft, but definitely male. "No."

            "What are you doing out here all alone? Do have any friends or family nearby?" Kaneli pressed, concerned.

            "I have no one…" Came the hesitated reply. "I am lost."

Kaneli bit her lip again. "Well, where are you from?"

            "I don't know."

            "You must be freezing! Come with me back to my village and maybe I can help you." Kaneli said while absently rubbing his back.

            He didn't answer her for a moment, his body slowly rocking from the gentle force of the girl's hand rubbing small circles on his back.  Should he trust her?  She was a stranger to him, yet she spoke so softly and her gentle touch, surprised that he could even feel it, was like heaven.  He lifted his head to look upon the saint who freely offered to help, his mouth curving up at the corners.  She was small, but her face held a mature look in its child-like appearance.  Her skin was tan, so much different from his white skin, and her eyes were a green as bright as the new pine needles that grew on the tree above him.  She was…something, something he didn't know the word for, but it stole his breath away to look upon her.

            Her full lips were set in a warm smile at first, but then it fell and opened slightly as a gasp of shock escaped her and she jerked her hand away from him as if he burned her.  Her emerald eyes widened with a look that was all too familiar in the back of his scattered and gapped mind:  Fear.

            "J-j-jinzounegen!" She stammered and tried to move back so fast that she fell backwards.

            "Jinzounegen? Is that…is that who I am?" He asked aloud, more to himself than the girl.

            Kaneli did not hear his murmured words, because her mind screamed the single word she had uttered:  Jinzounegen.  How did he get here?  Wasn't he destroyed?  Did he come back to finish what he began seven years ago?  Kaneli scurried backwards as quickly as she could unaware of the stream approaching her back.  Her hand hit the cold soil of the bank and was falling backward as a startled scream left her.  She squeezed her eyes shut and braced herself for the stinging cold the water would bring, but it never came.  Green eyes fluttered open to stare into ice blue ones and widened.  Kaneli lashed out suddenly, catching the jinzounegen off guard as her fist connected with his jaw.

            He released her and she crawled away as she quickly could before getting up and running to the ax she had leaned against the tree.  Picking it up, she whirled around to face her tormentor, tears sliding down her face.  She was not going to let him take her again without a fight!

            The dark haired jinzounegen, however, made no move to take her.  As a matter of fact, he was where she had left him, still holding his face where she had punched him.  Slowly, he withdrew his slender hand from his cheek and stared in front of himself, blinking ever so slowly.  Kaneli stood there tensely watching him, waiting for any sneaky attack he might launch at her; but he did not move.

            "Please," He said softly, so softly that Kaneli nearly missed it, "tell me who I am…tell me my name."

            He turned his head to look at her and what she saw made her heart jump and pound painfully against her ribs.  Running down his pale cheeks and washing away the smudged dirt were tears…actual tears.   Kaneli's poise faltered.

            "You—" She had to clear her throat to rid her self of the painful lump that appeared there, "you are Juunana-gou, one of the fearsome jinzounegen that attacked my village seven years ago. You killed my friends and neighbors, destroyed our homes, our lives!" Her voice rose with each accusation she threw at him, "You kidnapped me and…" She could barely bring herself to say it, "You hurt me."

            She was angry with him, this he could tell, and it was underlined with something more, something he never knew before; it was indescribable.  He stared at her, her last words playing over and over again in his head: "You hurt me." And he could almost feel her pain.  Feel? Yes, feel; he was sure of it.

            _She called me "Juunana-gou." _He thought, _Number 17? That doesn't make sense…but jinzounegen means…android…artificial human…is that true?_

            He was disturbed by what she said, but he knew it was true.  He knew that without a doubt it was true; and what he was, hurt this girl.  She was so afraid of him…and seeing that fear stirred something in him; an unpleasant feeling that he couldn't describe.  He focused his gaze back on the girl, her face a mask of confusion as she watched him, as if he never acted the way he is now.  He let his gaze drop to the forest floor below him, the ground covered with dead pine needles and leaves from the surrounding trees.  He brought his hand before his face, staring at its dirtiness...its uncleanness.  He shuddered.  He was a monster—a horrid, dirty, vile monster that had no business existing.  He caused pain, fear, anger, sorrow…feelings he never knew before and they were coming all at once—from that girl—all for him.

            "I'm sorry…" He whispered, the words tumbling from his trembling lips.

            Kaneli blinked.  What did he say?  He was sorry?  Sorry?!  How could a monster like that be sorry?!  Wait a moment…how _could_ a monster like him be sorry.  Him, a creature at one point unrivaled in flawless power and beauty, striking fear into the hearts of her villagers; him, the very same creature that kidnapped her from her home and committed such vile acts upon her that she blanches and nearly suffocates at the memory…A being that looked down upon all the helpless, scattering, fleeing innocents and sneered at them and call them mindless sheep.  He was strength, he was power, and he was beauty…he was near divinity.  Yet now he sat crumpled before her with his face dirty and his clothes ratty, weeping; that near god-like flawlessness gone.  He looked so pitiful to her now, like a lost child who was so desperate to go back to the things he knew.

            And then she realized something; he _was_ a lost child who wanted so desperately to go back to the things he knew.  But he didn't know them anymore…they had been long since forgotten when he became an android.  His very life was stolen away from him…all that anger and pain.  It must have been hard—for the both of them.

            "I'm a monster." She heard him murmur, barely disturbing the silence that had settled upon the wood, "A vile creature…who never had a life to call his own. I don't deserve to exist anymore."

            He was certain this girl would be more than happy to end what he supposed to be his life right then and there.  She hated him, and she should be ecstatic to take back all the pain and sorrow he had caused her.  Anything to ease that pain, a pain that he knew nothing about, but was sure was unpleasant.  He wasn't sure if he knew how much blood stained his hands, but he knew for sure that it was too much for his conscience to bear.  After her accusations of him, he began to see flashes of something, something of the past of his causing.  It was horrible, those quick flickers of his pervious life before five hours ago, and it racked his mind with so many emotions it made tears fall anew down his already damp cheeks…a monster indeed.

            Suddenly, a weight dropped around his shoulders, not a heavy one, but enough to make him shift noticeably for not being prepared.  Fur tickled his cheek, and warmth slowly settled over him and seeped into his cold skin and it began to tingle after a moment.  This could only mean one thing, and he didn't even notice her approach.  Looking up, he was surprised that she was smiling down on him.  It was a tight, wary smile, but a smile nonetheless and that comforted him a little.

            "No, you're not a monster." She said to him softly after a moment. "You were just a lost soul…looking for a place to belong."

            Her eyes widened a bit when he began to cry again, this time more openly, and while leaning against her.  He was huddled up in her thick fur coat, one hand clutching hopelessly at the long sleeve of her shirt.  He looked even more like a child then; a black-haired child who had no one left in the world…not even his sister, whom he was hardly seen without.  Kaneli was at a loss again, not sure of what she should do with the awkward situation.  Sighing, she did the only thing that came to mind:  and that was to comfort him.  Slowly, her body trembling just slightly, she wrapped her free arm around him and brought his shaking form just a little bit closer to herself to let him grieve.  She had done much of hers when she was younger, and that was for about two or three years.  She was traumatized for a long time, and still is to this very day, but she wasn't sure if that was anything in comparison to what must be happening to him.

            She's heard rumors that Bulma Briefs, the president of the once again thriving Capsule Corporation, announced to whomever cared, that these androids were once human.  A psychotic scientist known only as Dr. Gero, made them into what they were, and that was over 30 years before they attacked the world.  It must have been hard to have your life stolen from you at a young age, around the same age as Kaneli was now, and be made into a machine against your will…what Kaneli guesses was against their will.  But Bulma Briefs was absolutely sure of that fact, through information brought to her by her young son, Trunks…and Kaneli still had her doubts but had a strong sense that wasn't too far from the truth.  How awful…

            And then, she realized, she understood him, perhaps not entirely, but to a sense to not hold such hatred for him even though his crime against her was so great.  She could not forgive him, of that she was sure, but her heart and conscience wouldn't let her settle against sympathy for him.  He had lost something precious as much as she, and as much as a lot of others that she knew suffered under his and his sister's terror, but no one could understand that through their grief, just like the twin jinzounegen couldn't understand the horror of their actions through their own grief.  Maybe that was the answer, maybe it wasn't, and she wasn't sure; she just hoped that she understood a little bit about the mysterious jinzounegen, even if that little bit was hardly anything at all.

*****

Well, what'cha think?  Please don't be too harsh, it's my first fanfic.  I know Juunana-gou was OOC, but think about it, he barely remembers who he was, and maybe not knowing opened him up to new feelings.  Anyway, please R&R!! Thank you!!


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